Life Moments and Destiny
I have always been a great believer in destiny. As I’ve lived my life, there have been certain moments and events that seemed to direct my life. Sometimes these events were great moments like becoming a parent or getting married where I realized and knew without a doubt that my life would be forever changed. I knew that in twenty years, those moments would still bring a smile to my face.
Yet others, like when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and when I left archaeology as a career, I had no idea where that new path would take me. These life changes were difficult. At the time, it was hard to believe that anything good could come of them.
Changes in Direction
In reality, changes of direction are just that. Something happens and we react. If they turn out well, we see these as a sign that the world is a good place. That it is our destiny is to become happy and content.
If we struggle with the new situation, life becomes heavy. We get our backs up and fight against the reality of this new path. Unfortunately, if we fail to move past this situation, we start seeing evidence of another type of destiny. A destiny that is harsh and that keeps us an arms’ length away from being happy and living a content filled life.
I am reminded of a situation when I was about preschool age. For some reason which I can no longer remember, I won a bible story book at Sunday school. I do recall being quite proud of getting this little story and I still have the book in a box of childhood treasures.
In this story, was a small child that kept hearing someone calling his name. He’d look around but no one was there. The child became quite scared after a while. Finally, he was told that this was the voice of God and that the next time he heard the voice he should accept his service. Ultimately, God had seen the goodness in this child and he was a chosen.
At the time, I was terribly afraid of the dark. After reading the story countless times, I pushed away my fear and waited for my call. After all, I was a good girl.
But I never heard the voice of God, at least not in the way the story told me would happen. I became convinced in my destiny. For some reason beyond my comprehension, I was not good enough. I was not chosen.
It sounds silly but that belief reverberated through my life in some very strange ways. I could never explain it but I was never quite enough. When opportunities came across my path, I pushed them away because in my mind I was nothing special. After all, it was my destiny to be extremely ordinary. Some people could live fabulous lives, be important, and be happy but not me, it was not my destiny.
Perhaps events are destined, I don’t know. However, it is with our human understanding that we interpret these moments. We deem them good or bad, pass or fail based upon our understanding at the time. Unfortunately, we can’t see the long term reverberations. We don’t know the layout of the big plan or if there even is one.
Really, all we can do is take each step of our life and make the best of it. Enjoy those moments that we instantly know are gold. Then, try to see the hidden joy or the lesson yet to learn in the not so great times. Accept what is and live the best life we can. Ultimately, live like we are all destined to be happy and ignore all evidence to the contrary.