Hand in hand with non-judgment is compassion. If there is one skill that we as human beings in this modern world all need to practice it is compassion, specifically self-compassion. Perhaps that’s the reason why we all seem to be getting so many opportunities to master this invaluable skill.
Now, to be clear, no one wants to be in the midst of a difficult life experience. No one asks for change (when things are good). If we had our wish, we’d all fast forward to living happily ever after.
By its very nature change is uncomfortable. It leaves us feeling vulnerable and wondering about our future well-being. This is natural.
Most people can and do find some level of compassion when it comes to others. Very few people would shake and scream at their newborn who was just diagnosed with a terminal form of cancer. Instead, our first instinct would be to comfort.
However, for some strange reason, when we struggle we see it as the perfect opportunity to bring out the list of all our miss-steps, mistakes, failures, and flaws. Then, in pain staking detail, we regale and relive every single moment. Evidence of our sins. Proof that we somehow deserve the pain and suffering that we are experiencing.
Conversely, self-compassion is basically good self-care. Recognizing that life is changing and this fact is scary. Giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Pausing a moment to take stock of the tools and skills we’ll need for the journey ahead. Reminding ourselves that a new normal is just over the horizon.