Between the Cracks of Other People’s Lives

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Compromise

cracks
Once again, fall is drawing near. The kids are back in school. As always, the summer was much too short. Winter is inevitably just around the corner.

This year, I’m in an interesting situation. My grandson is now in school fulltime. So for the first time, in a long time (perhaps ever) I have much of the day to myself. I can finally write in peace, all day if I like.

It seems like forever that I’ve been living in between the cracks of the lives of others. Making sure that everyone else’s needs, wants, and desires were taken care of first. Studying, working, and writing in the middle of the night because the house was quiet and still.

I don’t regret any of it. I felt bent like a pretzel for a good deal of the time. I even sometimes wondered if I’d ever get a breath. All in all though, I did what I felt was important. Worth any sacrifices.

I’m now starting the second week of this new experience. The first week, was what I call a transition week. I suspect that this first month will be an extension of that process.

In any case, last week I spent a great deal of time worrying and racing around like a madwomen. Mostly, trying to smooth the school process for the little guy. Grade one is such an adjustment.

Between the cracks, I started looking at creating a new schedule for myself. How will I fill my days? What needs to get done? What are my priorities?

At first, my thought were quite fanciful. After all, I suddenly had all this extra time on my hands. Heck, I could write for hours without any interruption. Just think of all the work I’ll get done and maybe even have a few moments to myself.

Ha, ha. This week, reality is rearing its ugly head. I’m already seeing that my expectations are rather unrealistic.

I’ve literally spent years determining what I’d do in my work if I ever got the time. I’ve got all sorts of lists, files, and outlines of all the things I’d like to do with my whole health work. Books I’ll someday write, topics for future blog posts, promotional activities, etc. Enough work to last me a lifetime (or longer). And that’s just work, on the home and personal fronts there’s a whole lot more.

Evidentially, my to do lists are too long. Despite my passion, it seems there are still only so many hours in the day. My energy reserves are only so full.

So, I guess my main task for the next few weeks will be to come up with a sustainable schedule. Learn, once again, how to balance my energy reserves and the things I need/want to do each day. Determine my priorities and use my time wisely.

It seems to me that time is like money. No matter how much money you make, it always somehow gets spent. There’s never any leftover, breathing room. The same thing with time. I guess it’s time to learn to budget.

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Tami Brady

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