The basic philosophy of this book is built upon four main principles. The first core foundation is the concept that each of us is an individual and as such will be most fulfilled and content when we are free to express our genuine selves.

Generally speaking, we are own worst critics. We tell ourselves that we should be more like so and so, that will be successful when we achieve such and such, or that life would be so different if only we could change a certain situation. Unfortunately, these aspirations are often based upon impressing someone else, trying to prove our worth to others, or the assumption that being anything but ourselves would be an improvement over our seemingly flawed existence.

The truth is that if you devalue yourself and don’t appreciate who you really are, you give others permission to do so as well. Moreover, since like tends to attract like, the more you punish yourself for these presumed faults, the more likely it is that you will become a magnet to people who want to join in on causing you more pain and suffering.

Conversely, if you learn to love and take pride in all aspects of yourself, you will no longer feel the need to measure yourself against others or punish yourself for not being good enough. You will realize that you are a valuable, unique human being and will expect others to treat you with respect and dignity.

The second essential root of this resource is the notion that individuality and diversity benefit both the individual and the world community at large. Many of us become deeply afraid that working on our issues may make us self-centered. This has a very negative connotation as if taking care of ourselves mean that we might suddenly become unwilling to love or care for anyone else. That somehow the act of taking care of ourselves is synonymous with becoming cold and distant.

In fact, the opposite is true. Although you might not be aware of it, chances are you treat others the way you take care of yourself. Therefore, if you ignore your feelings or insecurities and try to pretend that life is peachy, likely your other relationships are also superficial and based upon a weak foundation. If you hurry around trying to get tasks done and never quite have time to smell the roses, probably you also miss the little things that make having children so amazing and never seem to notice the special things that your lover does that say “I care.” Worst still, if you judge yourself as lacking, you may also feel the need to make your lover, children, friends, and colleagues adhere to some unrealistic vision. Doing so even in a passive-aggressive fashion still causes damage.

Fortunately, the opposite is also true. If you learn to accept yourself as a unique entity, you will be more patient and loving with those around you. If you take the time to take care of your mental health, you will be more supportive for others who wish to make changes in their lives. If you are willing to see difficult situations as challenges in your life, as opposed to permanent circumstances that illustrate an innate character flaw, you will be more willing to be compassionate to someone else going through troublesome times.

The third main premise of this book is that we as individuals must take responsibility for our own life changes in order to successfully accomplish any lasting life transformations. There is no magic pill or all knowing guru when it comes to changing our lives. We have to do it ourselves. Though others may want to guide us on our journey, no one has the ability or the right to choose the right path for another individual. Such people are welcome to give loving support, make suggestions, give guidance, and provide resources. However, it is our job to determine what exactly our unique and most personal issues are; what strides we wish to make toward change; and at what speed we want to accomplish any or all of our ambitions.

Change thrust upon you, based on someone else’s rigid timetable, or completed to appease others, simply will not work. Ultimately, the desire to please others won’t withstand the difficult challenges and extreme obstacles that reality and day to day life create. You are the only one who can determine what will motivate you to change your life. Only you know how much time, energy, and determination you have to make these modifications. In the end, you are the only one who knows what you need at the deepest depths of your being to become truly happy.

Likewise, if you wait for someone else to magically transform your life, you are simply finding excuses not to change by pushing your own personal responsibilities onto another individual. Ultimately, this just provides you with a built in reason why your life didn’t improve.

Family, friends, professionals, medications, and faith may provide strong support systems or be important sources of help. However, it is up to you to choose any or all of these support systems or resources. Successful permanent life changes have to be initiated from within you. In this way, you can determine if these aspects are pertinent to who you are, what methods are most appropriate to achieve your unique life design or designs, and what time frame is realistic based upon your abilities and day to day realities. Thus, ultimately you are in control of deciding what modifications are necessary and how to develop a personalized plan to accomplish these changes.

The fourth and final foundation of this guide is that change is difficult and scary and therefore is best accomplished in a gradual way that reinforces our personal needs. Most of our day to day life is habit and routine. These habits include ignoring our needs or beating ourselves up with commentary about what we lack. In order to break from these destructive norms and replace them with new practices such as self acceptance, increasing self-reliance, and stepping out of our comfort zone. This is extremely difficult and can be very overwhelming. This is especially true when day to day stresses or unexpected events require all of our time and energy, leaving us with little left for undertaking difficult life changes.

Small gradual changes won’t require integration of large quantities of commitment and motivation or add huge disruptions into your current schedule. Therefore, small gradual changes over a prolonged period of time will generally be easier to fit into your day to day life. These minor modifications are also easier to continue during difficult life circumstances. Over time, these small changes will become natural habits, done with little thought or special effort.

Although small changes are more likely to contribute to lasting changes, there is one clear exception to this rule. If you are in a violent or abusive situation, you need to use all possible resources to get to a safe location, period. Safety is first and foremost in any given situation. Changing your self-abusive patterns can wait, being alive to do so is much more important.

My hope is to help you to identify, define and work toward a life full of healthy interactions and personal contentment. Specifically, we’ll focus on reversing situations of unhealthy dependence in order to break free of control, regain self-esteem, and increase self-reliance. This can be achieved while gaining an understanding of how to accept assistance that will allow you to live a happy, healthier life

This book does not preach a one size fits all, cookie-cutter solution to achieving independence. Instead, I’d like to direct you toward a personal and unique understanding of what resources you need, what skills you need to gain, and ultimately what you need to do to become the contented, self-reliant individual you have hidden within yourself. This process is meant to suit all sorts of situations, personality types, and life challenges.

While working through the exercises, you will learn how to identify personal challenge areas and then how to use this new knowledge to design realistic goal sets that will ultimately direct you toward making real and permanent changes in your life. Quite simply, you will come away from this experience with a renewed feeling of control over your life and a unique tailored plan that fits you, your needs, and your current challenges.

This book will guide you step by step through the process of understanding the underlying causes of your dependency issues, and making solid changes to gain a healthier, happier life. Each section will bring you one step closer to an understanding of your own issues and a renewed sense of how to regain control in these areas of your life.

Preface

Introduction

Mental Aspects

What exactly are mental aspects?

How do mental aspects affect daily life?

What does this mean for you in particular?

How can you figure out what your particular mental aspects mixture should include?

How can you go about changing or altering your current mixture of mental aspects?

What next?

Spiritual Aspects

What exactly are spiritual aspects?

How do spiritual aspects affect daily life?

What does this mean for you in particular?

How can you figure out what your particular spiritual aspects mixture should include?

How can you go about changing or altering your current mixture of spiritual aspects?

What next?

Emotional Aspects

What exactly are emotional aspects?

How do emotional aspects affect daily life?

What does this mean for you in particular?

How can you figure out what your particular emotional aspects mixture should include?

How can you go about changing or altering your current mixture of emotional aspects?

What next?

Physical Aspects

What exactly are physical aspects?

How do physical aspects affect daily life?

What does this mean for you in particular?

How can you figure out what your particular physical aspects mixture should include?

How can you go about changing or altering your current mixture of physical aspects?

What next?

Conclusion

Bibliography and More Resources

Mental Resources

Spiritual Resources

Emotional Resources

Physical Resources

About the Author

Index

Meditations for Stress Management

By Tami Brady

Lulu Press

ISBN: 9781105571497 (Print), B007FEAB94 (Ebook)

66 pages

Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBookStore

Retails for $8.99; Buy Now for only $5.99

It’s interesting that our natural fight or flight mechanism which was once beneficial (indeed key) to our ancestors’ survival has now become our modern day nemesis. More and more, we are realizing the negative effect that stress has upon our health particularly in reducing our immune functions, creating imbalances in the various systems of the body, and increasing the risk of life threatening diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. As I found out the hard way, stress also plays a definitive role in chronic conditions like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Meditations for Stress Management is a compilation of some of my favorite guided visualizations and meditations. I have used and continue to use these exercises as resources to help reduce and manage my own stress levels. I find that doing so not only increases my immune function so that I don’t get sick as often (or have bouts associated with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) but that this practice also strengthens my resolve in handling difficult situations, problem solving, and staying focused on the task at hand.

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An Introduction to Whole Health

By Tami Brady

Lulu Press

ISBN: 9781105330834 (Print), B006JA4KK6 (Ebook)

52 pages

Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBookStore

Retails for $2.99; Buy Now for only $0.99

Are you in pain?
Unhappy?
Feeling frustrated and unbalanced in your life?

Whole Health may be the solution

Whole Health doesn’t just look to mask physical and emotional symptoms. Instead, using Whole Health resources, you can learn how to understand and use these valuable signals to help you find a healthy balance in all aspects (mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual) of your life. By acting upon this new found knowledge, you come to see that symptoms are actually clues to how to live a happy healthy life full of loving connections and meaningful experiences. Whole Health: a balanced content-filled life, defined on your own terms.

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The Complete Being

By Tami Brady

Loving Healing Press

ISBN: 9781932690200 (Print), B003N3UZD8 (Ebook)

168 pages

Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBookStore

Like many people, I used to spend a good deal of my time fantasizing about the life I wish I had. Caught in the mindset of I could never do that, why can’t I be more like so and so, and nothing is ever going to change, I felt my dreams slipping away. But one simple question, why not?, changed my life forever. This phrase challenged to take control of my life and start driving towards the me I always hoped I could be.

The Complete Being: Finding and Loving the Real You will help you realize your own hopes and dreams. This book contains the wealth of my own personal journey to contentment in easy to adapt exercises that you can use to identify and strive towards your own life ambitions. You will regain control of your own destiny by applying these simple yet thought-provoking exercises in the mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects of your life.

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